Giving up already, huh?

Yep, you got me. It’s only January 18 and already my "Stuff to Do in 2012" list (see sidebar on the right) has shrunk from 8 items to 7. "Run a Half Marathon" is already gone.

I thought about deleting it quietly and hoping nobody would notice, but despite evidence to the contrary, I do have some ethics. That and I’ve already talked about it here so there’s a good chance I would get called out on it anyway.

So what happened?

Well, as I wrote a long time ago, in The Loneliness of the Short Distance Runner I’ve had a love-hate relationship with running ever since attempting to take it back up in middle age. I want to run, I really do, it’s just my legs won’t cooperate. Despite many stops, starts, annual resolutions, teeth gritting, new shoes, new training programs, and who knows what else, it seems my old bones just won’t tolerate the pounding any more. No matter how slowly I take it, how long I spend building up a mileage base, the end result is always the same.

It hurts like hell.

I genuinely believed that this time, this time, I had beaten the demon. I’d been running 2-3 times a week, almost every week for about 4 months. My mileage wasn’t high, just 2 to 3 miles at a time, but I was doing it you see. And more importantly, sticking to it.

And then I ran 4 miles. Not exactly an endurance race. I doubt any Ironman contender would have been losing sleep. But it was a big deal to me. 4 miles. That’s longer than I’ve run without stopping since I was in my early twenties. See me? See Boston? Get ready world. Man, was I feeling good about myself.

But then the next time out, a short 2 miler, and it all came crashing down. Every step felt like someone was hitting my legs with a baseball bat. Achilles tendons, calf muscles, knees, hips.

Hurt
Like
Hell

They say you should listen to your body while exercising and mine was using words which would have made a sailor blush. I made it 1 mile. 1 pitiful mile before calling it a day, and sitting down and feeling sorry for myself. And I haven’t been able to pluck up the enthusiasm for trying again.

So reluctantly and for the umpteenth time, I’m admitting that me and running just don’t get on. And the goal to run a half marathon has been shelved.

For now.