The Pittsburgh Steelers and...who?

There are certain things in life which can be considered constants. The first cup of coffee in the morning always tastes better than any subsequent ones, the weather is always beautiful while I’m at work, and the Arizona Cardinals always blow big hairy chunks. It has forever been so and I assumed it would always continue to be so. Except this year, the Arizona Cardinals somehow managed to make it to the Super Bowl.

Now back in my day; that simply wouldn’t have happened. When I lived in Phoenix (and for many years before that), the Arizona Cardinals / Phoenix Cardinals / St. Louis Cardinals / Chicago Cardinals / Racine Cardinals / Normals (Normals?) and the Morgan Athletic Club have historically been the worst, or close to the worst team in the National Football League. While other teams cycled through boom and bust years, going through successful decades followed by unsuccessful decades and back again, the Cardinals managed to retain their distinguished status as the league’s most irrelevant team. Year, after year, decade after decade, forever and ever, Amen.

They did win a playoff game once. And it was against the hated Dallas Cowboys too! But one playoff win in 60 years is hardly the stuff of which dreams are made and few people living in Phoenix gave them much of a thought. In fact, such is Phoenix’s demographics, with a high proportion of residents originating somewhere else; there were frequently more fans in the stadium supporting the visiting team than the home side.

That single factor was the reason behind my sporadic attendance at Cardinals games. Playing in their own stadium with the majority of the crowd cheering for the other team? I just felt sorry for them. So, I went to 1 or 2 games a year but the one I never missed, was when the Cowboys came to town. Given that most of the population of Dallas now lives in Phoenix, and given that they’re among the league’s most obnoxious fans, well it just stuck in my craw. I didn’t own any Cardinals clothing (my sympathy for them didn’t extend that far) but I would dig out a red t-shirt and wear that so as the TV cameras swept around the stadium showing a sea of blue shirts, I would stand out as the lone Cardinals fan way up there in the cheap seats.

Another big advantage of being a football fan in Phoenix during the 90’s, was that the local indifference meant the Cardinals never managed to sell out the stadium. So it was easy to drive over on the spur of the moment and purchase a seat in the nosebleeds, wait until the game was underway, then head down to the more expensive section to enjoy the rest of the contest like a rich person.

And I saw some good games too. With me in attendance, the Cardinals beat several defending Super Bowl champions and a good number of other teams that on paper and over the course of the season, were far superior. In fact, of the 15 or so games that I attended, I saw the Cardinals get beat precisely zero times. That’s right; the world’s worst football team won every game they played with me in the stands. Looking back, it’s a mystery why I didn’t think to write to the organization and suggest they give me a free ticket to every home game. That would be 8 wins guaranteed each season, which is 4 or 5 more than they usually managed.

But I didn’t and sometime around 1999, I decided that enough was enough. The NFL’s revenue sharing policy meant that even perennial losers like the Cardinals received a healthy income and apparently this was perfectly satisfactory to the Cardinals’ ownership. While most other franchises were passionate about putting a winning product on the field, they were happy to save money by paying the lowest salaries in the league and putting up losing seasons, year after year after year. Having seen yet another crop of promising young players traded away in exchange for yet another batch of washed up has-beens and never-weres; I decided I was done giving even a few dollars a year to this joke of a team and Phoenix resident or not, I looked around for another team more deserving of my respect.

At that time I had no idea I would soon move to Colorado so perhaps it was kismet that led me to choose the Denver Broncos. Or maybe it was the fact that they were coming off two consecutive Super Bowl wins but either way, this was a team worthy of my support. A team who knew how to win.

Of course, you know where this story’s going. In the 9 years since I awarded them my allegiance, the Broncos have won precisely one playoff game, prior to getting their heads kicked in during the NFC Championship game. A game for which I was in attendance. My lucky-charm winning-when-I’m-in-the-stadium streak apparently didn’t transfer along with my loyalty. This year the Broncos managed to blow a 3-game divisional lead with 3 games to go; the first team in history to do so. Hence, they missed out on a playoff berth again and once more, they’ll be watching the Super Bowl on television.

But amazingly, the Cardinals will not. The world’s worst franchise, perennial bottom-dwellers and league running joke have finally got their act together and put out a team that has not only performed admirably throughout the season, but has chugged (comparatively comfortably) through the playoffs. For the first time in their history, the Arizona Cardinals will take the field next Sunday, to participate in Super Bowl XLIII (that’s 43 in case you weren’t sure). I still can’t say I feel any particular fondness for the team but they’ll be playing the Pittsburgh Steelers; the team that administered the Bronco’s above mentioned head-kicking-in. So I can’t support them.

I wonder if I still own that red t-shirt.