Full Yellow Jacket

It looks as though the hummingbirds are gone for the year. I have half a dozen feeders scattered around the property and they each draw a fair amount of attention each summer. The most active appears to be the one hanging outside my office window and I get a lot of pleasure from watching their antics while I’m supposed to be working. But, I haven’t seen any visitors for the last couple of weeks and it would appear they’re all on their way down to Mexico to hang out on the beach for the winter. When I get done here, I’ll take down the feeders, give them a good wash; and then store them away till next year.

So I wonder then, if I can take down the yellow-jacket trap. Other than a herd of wasps, which we found living in our ceiling not long after we moved in, we haven’t been too bothered by these pests. Until this year, that is. As far as I’m aware nothing changed in the sugar/water mix I make up for the hummingbird feeders, so I have no idea why the yellow-jackets appeared all of a sudden. Nor have I an explanation of why they seemed to be fixated on the feeder by my office window, but couldn’t care less about the others. If there’s a nest close by, I haven’t seen any evidence of it.

But they’re here all right, swarming by the dozens. Some days there were so many of them buzzing around that the poor hummingbirds couldn’t even get close. Now as I’ve said before, I’m an animal lover, a regular St. Francis of Assisi, that’s me. However, once a critter chooses to inflict pain on me, then all bets are off. If a shark or a mountain lion happens to be noshing on my leg, then I won’t hesitate to poke it with my Swiss Army Knife™ while yelling "I say there, do stop that!" or something similar until it’s no longer an issue. Likewise, when mosquitoes try to bleed me white, as oft they have done, then I suffer no pangs of guilt when I squish the little buggers. In fact, I’ve squished many of them in my time, but nowhere near as many as have bitten me and I’ll happily devote my life to redressing that imbalance.

I have a beautiful back yard and at this time of year, there are few pleasures to equal sitting outside with a beer, or a coffee and a book, enjoying the sound of the breeze in the pines. Everybody knows food tastes better outdoors but nobody enjoys swatting at wasps with one hand while holding a fork in the other. And nobody enjoys being stung by the little buggers either; at least I don’t. The wasps we have over here in the Yooessuvay aren’t quite as vicious as their European cousins, but I’ve long been allergic to pain and have no desire to experience it unless absolutely necessary.

So, a yellow-jacket trap was required. Sure, you can go to the hardware store and purchase a pre-made plastic cage contraption, with a cotton swab to be soaked in wasp bait and a special removable base for hygienic disposal of the carcasses. But not only are they ridiculously expensive for what they are, they don’t work. I know, I’ve tried them. So, Backwoodsman Frontier Guy that I am; I made my own.

Yeah, yeah I know…you’ve read the Gunsmoke Files before and know that Mr. Fixit here can’t make anything more complicated than a sandwich without hurting himself but wasp traps are so simple, even I can do it. Here’s the procedure, write this down.

1. Take a clean empty jar, such as might have been used for pickles or jam or something.
2. Whack a hole in the lid with a nail, and be sure to leave the inside lip rough and raggedy. Use pliers to exaggerate this if necessary.
3. Half fill the jar with a mixture of water and dissolved sugar.
4. Put the jar where the wasps will find it.

People tell me you shouldn’t set it near a picnic table or where kids might play or any place to which you don’t wish to attract wasps, but in my experience, that’s where the wasps will be whether you wish it or not so you might as well put the trap there. Apparently, the trick is to set the trap early in the year, capture the queen and then it’s checkmate in no-time. I didn’t do that because they didn’t show up until mid-August, but I’ll be ready for next year.

The first day saw an impressive haul of 23 yellow-jackets. The day after, another 18. If I keep this up, I thought, I’ll clear out the whole neighborhood pretty soon. 3 weeks on, and I think I’ve played a major part in driving the species to extinction. 178 so far, with another 8 or 9 floating in the jar as I speak. Who knows how many I would have caught if I’d placed multiple traps around the yard, but this all from one 12oz pickle jar hanging outside my window. Certainly, the novelty of cleaning it out has long since worn off, but still they come.

Maybe once I take down the hummingbird feeders, the wasps will sod off too. Or maybe the won’t. Either way, I can sleep soundly knowing I’ve done my bit to stop them harassing the hummingbirds. My wasp corpse collection is testament to that.

Now, does anyone know a taxidermist that specializes in small animals?