I've said before, both here and many times elsewhere that there is a special place in hell reserved for the employees of the Immigration and Naturalization Service. And not a very nice place in hell either.
To be fair though, this opinion came about from my experiences with the employees of the Phoenix office. In all my dealings so far with the Denver office (two different ones), I have been more than impressed by the politeness, efficiency and overall friendliness of the INS employees. If only I could say the same about all the government departments. No, I'm not being sarcastic here, they really are a pleasure to deal with.
Although...the lady who greeted me at the door this morning, and explained that she would be conducting my citizenship interview and civics test was, it has to be said, a little...abrupt. Not rude exactly, but I suspected she had an ice-queen somewhere back in her lineage. That is until I almost screwed up on the second question and burst out laughing.
I really didn't know what to expect at the interview. I wasn't sure if she would grill me about the intricacies of the Designated Hitter Rule, or my favorite John Wayne movie, or ask for the ingredients of hot dogs. As it turned out, that portion of the session was simply a case of her going through my application form and confirming everything was correct. Yes, my name is spelled A-N-D-R-E-W, yes, I'm really from the United Kingdom and yes, that was a typo where I'd said that Dear Wife had previously been married to herself.
However, then we went onto the civics test. While I'd prepared for this, I still wasn't sure what was to come. The gubmint sends potential citizens a handy-dandy booklet which not only lists the 96 questions from which the civics test is drawn (and the answers), but also a paragraph of history about each one. It was actually semi-interesting and I'll bet many of my fellow Americans could benefit from it. (Especially the girl who told me "Oh we did not fight against Italy in WWII - we like Italy).
Most of the questions were toughies such as "What color is the flag" and "Who is the President today" and so on, but others were a little more challenging. Come on, hands up, who can tell me which Constitutional amendments deal with voting rights? (The 15th, 19th, 24th and 26th). I'd also lost some sleep trying to memorize the original 13 colonies, which are, as I'm sure you know, Virginia, Massachussetts, Maryland, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, -Take a Breath- New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Delaware and Georgia.
And I'd had to promise myself not to get smart if asked "Which special group advises the president on policy" Answer - "Whoever donates to his campaign fund." Baddaboom tsssh! thank you, I'll be here all week, don't forget to tip your waitress.
But the thing is, I didn't know what form the test would take. Would it be written, oral, multiple choice, what was the required pass rate. Nobody had told me this. As it turned out, Ms Frostyface told me she would be asking the questions, and I had to get 6 out of 10 right. No problem then, I had the stuff pretty well memorized and was even confident I could get all 13 colonies. Should be a breeze.
And I did fine, right up until the second question. "Where do congress meet?" That's an easy one, except I went into panic mode. For some reason I locked onto the word "Congress" and couldn't think of a anything else. For about a year I simply stared at her while my mind raced "Congress, congress...congress meet in...congress...it's a trick question...congress is where they meet...I don't get it...congress meets in...THE CAPITOL!" I really did almost yell the answer, then sat back chuckling with a relieved "Holy Crap!"
At that point she remembered she too, was human and laughed back
"OK, now we have that one out of the way, are you ready for the next question?"
And she didn't ask me for the original 13 colonies, or the amendments dealing with voting rights. So I sailed it and it kinda looks like I'm going to become a citizen.
So uhm, can someone explain the Designated Hitter Rule?
4 comments:
Congratulations! There was no doubt you'd pass, but I have dealt with the INS and I knkow what a long strange and confusing process ANY dealings with them can be. I wold have never known the voting amendments by number.. duh, who remembers numbers? The 19th is women's suffrage, that I know. I'm glad the test administrator turned out to be human after all, but it made a good story for you!
LOL...no, I can't. Ask me a football question, not baseball..*yawn*
And loved the comment by the lady that said we didn't fight Italy in WW II...Italy declared war on us on December 11, 1941, when Germany did.
That's awesome! Congrats! :-D
I liked your answer to the special group question, it's the truth in most cases.
Where is FTS when we need him? The designated hitter is when a batter (who doesn't play anywhere on the field) bats instead of the pitcher. The DH can play a position on the field if needed BUT if he does, the team gives up the right to have a designated hitter. Does that make sense? I just think of it of a hitter for the pitcher because he needs to save his arm for the defense.
Designated Hitter? umm, hoom, haw. I watched one baseball game in 1992. Me and Dwayne sat in the bleachers, drank crummy beer, and made fun of the catcher's crack which was in full view the whole time.
I'm glad you're on your way to becoming a reel lahve Amurrrickin. Just don't start driving a monster truck or wearing a cowboy hat or anything or I'll kick your ass.
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