Only 24 Hours in a Day

05:30- Huh? What? That beeping noise...what is it? Ohfercryinoutloud, it can't be the alarm already, I've only been in bed five minutes! Ughhhhh, I frickin' hate mornings.

05:35- Yes, I know I said I was going to exercise before leaving for work this morning, but that was at 10pm, with a glass of ice-cold vodka in my hand. Must have been mad.

05:50- I'm turning into a prune. Must get out of the shower. In a minute.

06:10- Look dog, I'm freezin' my arse off here. Will you just pee already?

06:20- (Singing) "On the road again" Of all the inventions modern man has come up with, I'd say heated car seats rank right up at the top. Coffee's pretty darn good too. That said; I'd still rather be back in bed. At least until the sun comes up.

07:30- Yanno, it's all very well parking on the other side of the river in order to save having to pay, and in the summer the ten minute walk is really quite delightful. But on a bitter winter's morning it's amazing how exposed this stretch across the park really is. It's not often I actually look forward to arriving in the office.

07:55- You can tell it's going to be a rough day at the office when you've handled five phone calls before making it to the bathroom. More coffee, that's the answer.

10:15- If there really is a hell, I'll bet it involves conference calls. 10,000 lost souls sitting in eternal torment while two of them repeat the same information over and over again. Wonder what's happening to my e-mail in-box right now. Dang, I've got so much to do; I don't have time for this. What? My turn to speak? No, I don't have an update. No, I don't know when they'll have it completed. Yes, I'll follow up. Hmm, did that sound frustrated? I think I sounded frustrated. Should probably watch that.

11:55- Lady, you're pushing my buttons today. It really isn't that complicated - your problem is that you haven't attended any of the training classes and when I try to explain it to you, you just don't listen. That and you have the IQ of a throw cushion. How do you manage to dress yourself? OK, let's go over it one more time.

12:45- I need to eat. I need to eat. I need to eat.

13:55- I need to eat. I need to eat. I need to eat.

14:15- Note to self: When mixing up tuna and salad dressing for sandwiches, it's a good idea to prevent the mixture from being too moist. Soggy bread with the filling falling out doesn't an appetizing lunch make.

14:59- Say what?

15:01- OK, this isn't looking good. Surely not.

15:03- Oh surely...NOT! They could NOT have been so stupid as to roll out the product without making sure this feature auto-updated. Please, please, please, please, please don't tell me I'm going to have to go in and enter all this manually! I don't have to do this manually do I? Tell me I don't have to do this manually. I do have to do this manually? Oh.

15:05- Hi, it's me. You'd best go ahead and have dinner without me. I'm going to be here late tonight. I don't know, very late. I'll call you in a bit. Because it's my job that's why.

15:45- I swear, if this laptop freezes up on me one more time, it's going straight out the window. This is going to take forever.

17:35- I'm telling you - one more freeze up and it's a fast trip to the ground floor for you my little electronic friend.

17:58- Yep, you deserve a medal for staying an hour late. You must be exhausted poor lamb. But considering you didn't come in 'till 9:30, I'll hold off on the rose petals at your feet for the moment, OK? See you tomorrow.

18:25- I wonder how long a human can live on vending machine food. And why is it, the orange juice is always the first one to run out? Ooh look, Twix.

19:20- Crap look at the time, and I've barely scratched the surface. There must be a more efficient way to do this. Hmm, how about if I create a spreadsheet and then...

19:55- Well that was a colossal waste of time. OK, back to doing it the original way. Music, that's what I need. Music feeds the soul. Let's see what music I can find.

20:20- Have I really just spent the last hour getting no further forward with this? OK, come on now, focus. Grind it out.

22:10- Hi, it's me. Yep, looks like I'm going to be here all night. I'm not sure, probably 4 or 5-ish. OK, I'll call you when I pull into the driveway so you can unlock the door. Sleep well.

12:05- Whoa, where did the time go? Making progress though, if I can keep going at this pace, I should be done by about...Friday. Dang, that's depressing.

01:25- Consider the Twix my friends. Shortcake, caramel, all coated in a layer of milk chocolate. And just when you get done…there's another one. Perfection in confectionary. Oh man, I'm tired. Wonder if I could get an hour's shut-eye if I laid on the floor. No, no - push on, push on. The sooner this is done, the sooner you'll get home. But oh dearie me, is it ever going to be over?

02:45- Feeling a little fuzzy round the edges now. Must focus on the task at hancze@gh

04:15- OK, that's it - I've had enough. Time to head home. Just send out a few e-mails so everyone can see the time stamp and notice how virtuous I am.

04:30- It's an odd feeling walking through a totally deserted city. Nobody, but nobody is about. OK, well now that car's just gone and spoiled it. But apart from that, there's nobody about.

04:45- Has the steering wheel always been so heavy? Have I always lived so far away? Traffic's pretty busy going the other way though. Lot of people must start work pretty early. Poor bastards.

05:15- Honey, I'm home!

05:30- Oh it's so nice to snuggle into warm sheets ready for a good night's sleep. But first though, I need to set the alarm.

Got to get up for work in the morning.