Eating Out - Part 4

After about a year, I made a break for it and headed back to Joel, still sitting at the table, still completely unaware of what was going on. I put him right. Once we’d figured out how to switch on the burner, our broth was soon simmering nicely. Cheerfully, we emptied the bowl of food into the broth and licking our lips, inhaled the delicious aroma as we waited for it to cook.

It was then we noticed the other patrons stealing glances from behind their hands and smiling. That’s when we realized that other people were cooking and eating their food in installments. Quite obvious really – different meats and vegetables cook at different speeds so we’d just revealed once more, what neophytes we were. Oh well, before long we were pigging into this gargantuan meal.

But we didn’t just have volume to contend with. Remember I said tom yum soup was hot? Well this stuff was really hot. I mean, Chernobyl hot. Toilet paper in the fridge hot. I like my food spicy, and have shoveled down some blistering stuff in the past, but I have never eaten anything as hot as this. In moments we were each sweating, blowing our noses and talking in high-pitched, strained voices. And no matter how many dishes we ate, the level in the bowl just never seemed to go down.

Because Auntie wasn’t done with us yet. Every couple of minutes, she would appear at my elbow with yet another mountain of food. We took what we could but eventually, laughing, we had to push her away.

"No! No more food" we pleaded. But it was still a long time before she got the message.

I’m still not sure how they enforced the “charge for wasted food” bit, but we had a few bits and pieces swimming around the bottom of the bowl when hours later, fat, happy and clear of sinus, we finally rose and waddled away. Nobody called us back though, so I think we got away with it.

The girls were proud of us when we told them. No TGIFridays for a pair of seasoned travelers like us. But now I’m home, microwaved pizza in front of the TV just isn’t the same.

Photos of Taipei

Photos of Singapore